Tampilkan postingan dengan label shelly. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label shelly. Tampilkan semua postingan

Kamis, 16 Mei 2019

My Opinion about today's situation

Pemimpin tanpa cela, pemimpin yang tidak pernah berbuat salah, pemimpin yang dipuja dan dipuji oleh pendukungnya, pemimpin yang jika dikritik, pengkritiknya ditangkap. Demokrasi di Indonesia sudah mati.

Saya tidak ahli dalam politik maupun sejarah, jika ditanya tentang data, apa buktinya dari hal yang saya katakan, saya tidak menyimpan berita2 atau kutipan2 mengenai itu. Yang saya tulis disini murni opini, berdasarkan hal-hal yang saya lihat dan dengar selama ini. Bukannya saya buat dan karang sendiri, tapi hal yang saya tangkap melalui keterbatasan indera saya semata.

Hal yang paling membuat saya sakit hati adalah banyak terjadi kriminalisasi Ulama. Sebagai seorang muslim saya tidak rela Ulama diinjak-injak dan diremehkan, bahkan ditangkap karena dituduh menyebar kebencian dan semacamnya. Memang Ulama bukan Nabi, Ulama bukan manusia yang luar biasa sempurna. Ulama hanya manusia biasa yang tidak luput dari dosa. Tetapi saya diajarkan bahwa setelah Nabi terakhir yaitu Muhammad SAW, pengajaran islam dilanjutkan oleh Sahabat, mereka berjumpa dgn generasi selanjutnya yang tidak berjumpa Rasul semasa hidup, setelah para Sahabat Rasul wafat, ada yang disebut Tabi'in (orang-orang yang berjumpa dengan sahabat dalam keadaan Muslim, serta wafat juga dalam keadaan Muslim), sampai pada masa sekarang Ulama lah yang melanjutkan pengajaran islam. Oleh karena itu Ulama seharusnya dihormati, apa yang mereka katakan tidak mungkin sebuah kebohongan, dan tidak mungkin untuk mencelakakan umat muslim. Jika memang Ulama mengkritik pemimpin/pemerintah. Seharusnya pemimpin tersebut introspeksi diri dan memperbaiki kesalahannya. Tetapi yang terjadi, Ulama-Ulama ditangkap bahkan dijelek-jelekkan oleh rakyat. Miris, sakit, apalagi jika umat muslim sendiri yang mencemooh Ulama tersebut. Orang-orang mencemooh Ulama demi mendukung pemimpin yang dzalim! Naudzubillahmindzalik.

Pada zaman sekarang, semua berita dan opini dengan mudah dapat dibentuk bahkan diputar balikkan oleh media. Siapa yang tidak setuju? Siapa yang percaya sama media 100%? Syirik woy! Percaya hanya kepada Allah SWT. Saya heran seheran-herannya, kenapa pemimpin yang sekarang selalu diberitakan kebaikan-kebaikannya. Katanya itu real, bukan pencitraan. Katanya begitulah pemimpin seharusnya, blusukan, merakyat, tidak hanya duduk di istana tapi menyapa rakyat langsung dan menyelesaikan masalah di lapangan. Kerja, kerja, kerja! Wow, sungguh mencengagkan. Bahkan Ulama kalah sempurnanya sama dia. Berdasarkan pengalaman pribadi saya, belum pernah saya melihat berita dari media besar yang menayangkan kritikan pada pemimpin tersebut. Yang ada hanya berita bagus, baik dari sisi pekerjaan sampai kehidupan pribadinya, bahkan sampai cucunya sendiri mengatakan beliau adalah artis bukannya presiden.
Tapi yang saya lihat, pendukungnya fine-fine saja dengan itu, pendukung garis keras, sudah seperti fans k-pop yang mendukung idolanya. Pokoknya kalau ada yg mengkritik pemimpin tersebut mereka hoax, mereka menebar kebencian. Demi Allah, sejak kapan negara demokrasi tidak boleh mengkritik? Bahkan bukan hanya pendukungnya yang bercuit melalui medsos. Tapi pihak berwajib juga turut menangkap satu persatu orang yang mengkritik pemerintah.

Saya bilang saya bukan ahli sejarah, saya tidak tahu bagaimana keadaan di zaman Suharto, tapi saya cuma dengar-dengar katanya saat itu keadaannya otoriter, siapa yang melawan pemerintah ditangkap. Lalu...... Bagaimana dengan sekarang? Saya sangat heran banget sekali kenapa tidak ada yang mengatakan pemerintahan sekarang juga otoriter. Saya menonton debat capres waktu itu. Beliau mengatakan, kalau ada yang salah, laporkan. Saya bingung sih, karena tidak ada di lingkungan pemerintahan. Jadi saya tidak tahu sebenarnya memang tidak ada yang melaporkan jika pihak beliau yang salah, apa sebenarnya sudah dilaporkan tapi tidak pernah ditindak, atau sudah ditindak tapi hanya tidak diberitakan? Tapi yang saya tahu, jika ada pihak oposisi menyerukan pendapatnya yang menjelekkan beliau, langsung ditangkap dan diberitakan dimana-mana. Saya bingung, heran, seperti ada yang salah. Tapi lingkungan saya adem-adem aja. Di timeline sosmed saya masih banyak yang membela beliau. Meskipun ada satu dua yang dengan berani menyuarakan pendapatnya sebagai oposisi.

Posisi saya yaitu mendukung oposisi, tetapi saya takut menyuarakan pendapat. Saya takut berbeda dengan yang lainnya. Terutama karena saya sangat awam. Tidak ahli dalam bidang ini, tidak luas wawasan tentang sejarah Indonesia. Tapi hari ini saya hanya mau menyatakan kebingungan dan keheranan saya. Jujur, trigger saya menulis ini yaitu saya membayangkan jika saya menjadi dr. Ani Hasibuan, saya pasti akan menangis semalaman. Meratapi apa yang telah saya perbuat, kenapa saya dipanggil ke kantor polisi? Kenapa saya seakan melakukan kesalahan? Yang saya lakukan hanya mencari kebenaran. Itupun sesuai dengan bidang beliau yaitu kedokteran, menurut saya beliau memang pantas menyuarakan pendapat dan hasil temuannya dalam bidang itu. Saya saangaaaatt heran, kenapa bahkan seorang dokter yang mengemukakan pendapat mengenai keahliannya juga diproses hukum. Bahkan sangat cepat, baru minggu lalu saya nonton videonya trending di youtube, hari ini beredar surat dari polisi untuk meminta beliau menjadi saksi terkait menyebar berita kebencian blablabla...
Tapi saya yakin, meskipun ini menakutkan (bagi saya), beliau pasti bisa tegar menghadapi ini, beliau pasti mendapat banyak dukungan dan doa dari rakyat Indonesia yang peduli. Dan doa orang yang terdzalimi pasti diijabah oleh Allah SWT. Jika tidak sekarang, nanti pasti ada saatnya. Semangat dr. Ani Hasibuan! Semangat bangkit Indonesiaku! Bangkit dari rezim yang terlihat adem ayem tapi banyak kejanggalan dan membuat saya yang orang awam banyak kebingungan..

Terimakasih buat yang sudah meluangkan waktunya untuk membaca opini saya. Jika kurang berkenan atau pilihan kita tidak sama, bisa mute atau unfollow saya saja. Saya tidak suka perpecahan, perkelahian, dan hal-hal buruk lainnya. Jadi saya sarankan untuk unfoll dan diam-diam saja daripada saling berbalas hinaan :)

Kamis, 28 Juni 2018

You’re a faker and I’m a hypocrite

I’m a believer
So that I believe all your words
I’m telling you, before that, I doubted your words
But somehow you made me believe
Or I, made me believe
From deep inside I know, I already know
I just make myself more comfort to believe in your lies, faker
So that I became a hypocrite

Sabtu, 21 April 2018

When U love someone

When u love someone, everything make no sense.
When u love someone, he is the only thing that is right for you.
When u love someone, everything not him is wrong.
When u love someone, you can’t open your heart for anyone.
When u love someone, you know he is not the right one, but you already in love with him.
When u love someone, you try to find somebody else.
When u love someone, you can’t find somebody better than him.
When u love someone, but you know he is wrong, u force yourself to stop loving him.
When u love someone, u get hurt.
When u love someone, u hate yourself for being in love.

Rabu, 26 April 2017

Cerita Shelly paling panjang...

Nangis terkejer gue di sdg (so far) adalah saat gue jadi acara GCF 2017

Hari itu rapat acara harusnya. Dirumah lagi gaada mama papa, adanya ade doang. Dan seperti biasa gue diwanti2 gaboleh plg malem, apalagi malem sebelumnya abis rapat choral ITB dan pengurus inti, meskipun seperti biasa gue juga izin pulang duluan. Gue pulang duluan itu bukannya seneng enak2an, bukannya gue gapunya rasa bersalah. Gue selalu merasa bersalah saat rapat pulang duluan. Dan rasa bersalah itu dikali dua. Pertama gue ngerasa bersalah sama anggota yg lain, mereka bisa nyelesaiin rapat smpe selesai, tapi gue sering izin2 plg duluan, belum lagi bersalah sama koor atau ketua pelaksananya. Kedua, meskipun izin pulang rapat duluan, tapi dirumah gue udah keitung pulang malem juga, selama diatas jam 8 itu udah keitung malem bgt sama mama papa. Jadi gue pulang bukannya enak2an tapi ttp merasa bersalah juga sama orgtua karena bahkan gue ikut sdg pun ga dpt restu dari orgtua. meskipun kadang dianter jemput kalo ada event sdg, dibeliin kebutuhan gue buat sdg, dibukain pintu rumah, dikasi kunci duplikat meskipun gue plg malem karena sdg, dibolehin bawa mobil buat gue pergi latihan atau rapat atau acara lainnya meskipun pernah juga ga dibolehin. Gue ga terlalu perhitungan orgnya, tapi kalau dihitung2 memang dukungan orgtua gue sangat besar untuk orang yang gak merestui kegiatan gue. Jadi gimana gue ga merasa bersalah kalau gue suka ngelunjak pulang malem untuk rapat yg kadang bisa beberapa hari berturut2 ada rapat buat event yg berbeda2. Gak rapat pengurus, pelantikan, GCF, ITB, diksar, dll. Jadi gue berusaha untuk mengimbangi, ga jomplang ke salah satu pihak. Kalau dlm seminggu ada 3 rapat gue ikut satu atau dua, atau satu setengah (satunya ikut tapi izin plg duluan), gapernah gue ikut tiga2nya. Disitu gue juga merasa bersalah sama SDG dan anggota yg lain. Tapi, yg bikin gue agak sakit hati adalah saat ada org yg beranggapan gue enak suka izin pulang duluan, atau gue enak ga ikut rapat. Meskipun bercanda, tapi kalau ada yg bahas ttg absensi gue di rapat, gue sebenarnya sensitif dan gue baper, tapi gue berusaha untuk menahan setiap gue baper apapun alasannya yg bikin gue baper. Gue selalu menahan dan menanggapi dgn bercanda biar ga ketauan baper, atau kalo lagi pms dan baper kebangetan gue tanggepin dgn diem dan pergi. Gue gapernah ngeTOI org atau blak2an soal perasaan gue di depan org lain yg bikin gue sakit hati. Entah karena gue bisa nahan, atau entah gue pengen marah tapi gue ga tau apa yg harus diomongin, drpd gue marah tapi awkward jadi mending gue diem. Mungkin terlihat dewasa (gue gatau apakah ada yg melihat gue dewasa apa nggak, gue gak menyadari apapun pandangan org ttg gue kalo ga dikasitau), tapi sebenernya gue menahan karena gue canggung dan gue suka gatau mau ngmg apa jadi gue tahan dan selain itu gue juga ga suka memancing keributan dan memperburuk masalah yg udah ada, jadi gue selalu berusaha nahan.

Jadi ya itu, hari itu gue bela2in ikut rapat acara GCF yg kata koornya rapat abis latian. Gue berusaha memaksakan ikut rapat itu karena kalau dari skala prioritas rapatnya penting, dan gue divisi acara, dannnn anak acara ini gapernah rapat full team, sedangkan besoknya ada rapat gcf semua divisi. Disaat ade gue yg manja dan ngeselin itu berdua dirumah dan orgtua gue suruh pulang cepet. Jadi gue bilang lah ke koor itu gimana kalo rapatnya dirumah gue, mau smpe jam berapa aja bebas yg penting gue dirumah. Lalu saat diumumkan, ada aja anggota yg kurang setuju, dan mungkin memang beberapa atau semua anak acara itu agak gamau rapat di rumah gue karena rumah gue jauh. Disitu mulai lah debat lagi, gue udah diem aja karena gue terserah yg lain aja, karena gue ga enakan. Sebenernya gue ga memaksakan bgt buat dirumah gue makanya gue diem. Tapi gue juga akan sangat berterima kasih dan sangat lega kalo rapatnya mmg jadi di rumah gue. Tapi melihat respon anak2 itu gue pun agak galau ya karena itu udah disuruh plg tapi rapat itu penting, ada yg tiba2 bilang di tempat makan lah, ada yg bilang di kampus lah, dan jdnya kyk ga jelas gitu. Akhirnya pecah lah karena koor juga kesel ada perdebatan masalah tempat rapat itu. Gue makin ga enaklah dan gue makin diem. Gue mau bgt dirumah gue, tapi gaenak juga sama yg bilang rumah gue kejauhan, gue mau bilang yaudah dikampus aja, tapi gue pasti gabisa ikut karena harus disuruh pulang, meskipun sekali2 gue ngelawan perintah orgtua tapi gue gamau jadi anak yg durhaka total, mungkin skrg gue semi durhaka (wallahualam) tapi gue gamau lebih jauh lagi karena gue juga ngerasa ini udah lampu oren (hati-hati) buat gue. (Ohiya btw, gue punya radar feeling sendiri buat suasana hati orgtua gue thd kegiatan sdg ini, kadang mereka ijo, lempeng bgt tuh kalo gue mau rapat atau latihan, kadang oren, harus hati2, dan hampir merah, yg bener2 harus di cut. Tapi sejauh ini paling baru smpe oren, belum smpe bener2 merah tapi itu udah warning bgt, karena gue sadar kalo oren tapi masih gue bablasin bisa2 jadi merah malah ke cut semua kegiatan gue selama 4 thn ini sia2 belaka jadinya). Karena gue bingung mau ngmg apa disitu jadi gue diem aja dan diem2 merasa bersalah juga. Dan setelah pecah suasana karena jdnya ribut masalah tempat rapat, yg merembet jadi masalah gak jadi rapat, rapatnya mau dibubarin, bingung lah gue, disini posisi udah mau malem, tapi gajadi rapat di rumah gue, tapi udah ambek2an gini. Dan disitu, lo tau, gue ngerasa ada yg nyalahin gue, memang dia ga ngmg langsung tapi gue ngerasa aja dia menyalahkan gue yg nyuruh rapatnya di rumah gue. Disitu aduhh udah gue tahan2 aja. Perasaan gue disitu pertama merasa bersalah, kedua bingung, terus agak kesel karena ketidakpastian, terus gue capek juga, dan disaat seperti itu ada yg terasa sedang menyalahkan gue. Entah kenapa gue udah terbiasa menahan, jadi mau sesakit apapun gue gabisa pecah di depan umum, baik pecah air mata atau pecah amarah, kyk yg org2 lakuin biasanya dlm situasi sprti itu. Tapi gue cuma diem, sok2 bisa ikut rapat, gue ikutin lah itu koor yg ngambek ke mcd kelapa dua. Disitu dia udah agak tenang dan nyuruh gue plg karena dia tmn gue dan dia tau gimana kondisi rumah gue, bukannya karena tmn jadi dibelain apa gimana, ya meskipun gue juga merasa bersalah dan takut ada yg berpikiran spt itu tapi gue udah bodo amat apa kata org ttg keluarga gue, karena gue tau mereka ga tau gimana keluarga gue yg sebenarnya.

Lalu pulanglah gue di jam 10 dan kondisi rapat belum mulai karena insiden itu.

Lalu...... setelah sampai rumah..... entah kenapa tiba2 gue pecahh sendiri....

Gue nangis senangis nangisnya. Ade2 udah pada tidur, mama ke bandung, papa ngekos di dkt kantor. Gue naaanggiis sambil mikir apa aja yg bikin gue nangis, jadi ada beberapa hal yg udah gue tumpuk dan gue tahan, pastinya ada hubungannya juga sama insiden rapat acara GCF itu. Perasaan gue disitu adalah kesel sedih marah kecewa, karena ada yg nyalahin gue padahal dia ga tau apa2 ttg keluarga gue. Di kampus tadi gue diem aja karena ya itu, gue tahannn. Di rumah baru lah pecah. Disitu gue mulai mikir egois, kenapa gue di kondisi kyk gini ga punya (org) tempat cerita. Kalo ke Allah itu udah pasti gue berkeluh kesah ke Allah dan minta petunjuk, ketenangan, apa2 semua minta sama Allah. Tapi gue merasa disini gue gaada org yg support gue yg bisa gue ceritain keluh kesah gue. Gue merasa ga pantes juga sih punya org seperti itu yg kerjanya bakal denger keluhan gue doang. Itu kenapa gue tahan terus semuanya gue tumpuk karena gue ga suka denger org ngeluh aja kerjanya jadi gue gamau juga ngeluh ke org. Tapi disini gue lagi ngerasa egois kenapa gaada org yg (terlihat) mau dengerin segala keluhan kesusahan gue (like pacar, meskipun hati gue yg sisi lain mengatakan gue ga butuh dan pacaran itu haram jadi gabakal berkah juga keluh kesah gue sama dia) apa gue kebanyakan nonton korea yakk. Disitu gue merasa butuh org buat tempat bersandar, bahu buat tempat gue menumpahkan air mata, dekapan buat nenangin gue, kuping buat dengerin semua unek2 gue. Yg ga gue dpt dari orgtua, maupun adik, dan teman gue.

Disitu gue juga sempet mikir kalo sdg se-egois ini terus menyita diri gue, gue sampe ga sempet ngerjain skripsi, gue ga sempet berkarya bagus2 buat tugas gue, gue cm bisa bikin seadanya doang buat tugas kuliah karena wkt gue yg terbatas, wkt gue yg gue curahkan hampir sepenuhnya buat sdg. Tapi disaat gue kyk gitu masih ada yg seakan menyalahkan gue karena gue minta rapat dirumah gue, masih ada yg seakan ngerasa gue enak2an izin dan gaikut rapat, dan egoisnya gue mikir "padahal apa yg gue lakuin, kontribusi gue, apa yg gue bikin, itu udah maksimal, hampir semua usaha dan waktu gue buat sdg, belum tentu kalian2 itu berkorban sebanyak gue dlm hal waktu, usaha, ide, pikiran, karya" tapi disini gue merasa seolah2 gue hanya dianggap org yg izin kalo rapat.

Sebenarnya hal itu ga masalah kalo dlm kondisi biasa. Tapi waktu itu kondisinya lagi sangat ga biasa. Wkt itu ke-egoisan gue yg selalu gue tahan muncul tiba2. Pikiran2 egois gue timbul dan merajai pikiran gue, sehingga gue pun nangis sejadi2nya. Apa yg selama ini gue lakuin, apa yg selama ini gue korbanin, keluarga, tugas kuliah, absen kuliah, pi, skripsi, itu ga dihargain. Entah pun siapa yg gue minta untuk hargain gue. Tapi pokoknya saat itu, ya itu yg gue pikirkan, gue butuh pendengar, gue butuh dihargain, gue butuh waktu buat ngerjain semua tugas2 gue yg ketinggalan. Gue pengen egois dan ngelakuin apa yg mau gue lakuin. Tapi kalo gue egois, malah perasaan gue yg sensitif ini makin merasa bersalah. Meskipun pikiran gue suka ngedumel di dlm hati tapi gue selalu ngerjain apa yg harus gue kerjain untuk sdg, meskipun ngedumel dlm hati tapi gue ngerjain sepenuh hati.

Entah juga kenapa gue bikin notes ini sepanjang2 tidak. Dan isinya pun ngalor ngidul bgt. Tapi gue hanya merasa ingin menuliskan, mencurahkan apa yg ada di pikiran gue ini. Siapa tau gue lega setelah nulis, dan suatu hari nanti bisa gue baca lagi. Saat2 capeknya gue berkorban buat sdg (but trust me, gue ngomong2 gini tapi gue ikhlas ngelakuin pengorbanan gue dan gue ga minta ganti untuk pengorbanan2 itu)

Sabtu, 12 November 2016

A Letter for Myself

It's easier to make a new one than fixing the old one, they said. 

Because the old one already have a pattern that another people has made before, and it's a little bit complicate to follow the pattern to finish it.

Yes, it is really easier to make a new one, because you really create it from the beginning, that you know every single part of it, untill you finish it with your own way.

But.... they didn't say it's impossible to continue the old one. 

It's not easy, but there's always possibility.


I proved that twice, in fact, it really is, not easy. 

I made much mistake in doing that. 

Even when I finish, the result is not as perfect as I and everyone expected.

But I finished it, until it really finish.

I finished it with my own way. 

I never ask to fix it at the first time, the responsibilities was just given to me in the middle of the pattern.

Then I took my courage to bear that responsibilities. To finish what I didn't start.

Honestly I'm not satisfied with the result. I admit that, I didn't deserve an appreciation from other people.

But I respect myself, I regard my self, I care to myself, and I convinced my self to receive a little thank you from myself, to myself, for having that courage at the first place, and still stand for it until it finish. 

So, thank you, Shelly, for did the best you can. Make this as the lesson for your future. Keep that braveness, always remember, have courage and be kind :)


(Note: 

  • The first occasion is when I become the first treasurer, from the second treasurer. Because the 'old' first treasurer was signed out from the organization
  • And the second occasion is when I, from the regular member, was asked to be the coordinator of artistic team that already created and already planned by other person. But because there's a thing, make that person became a chairman of the committee. So she asked me to replace her position.
  • I finished those jobs, with a little bit messy result. It was really far from perfect.
  • But like i said, I have to appreciate myself, so I write this letter for myself
  • And I just want to remind all of you, you need an appreciation of everything you did. At least you have a pure will to do it right, even if the result is far from your expectation)


And last but not least, I have a song for all of us:


I wouldn't wanna be anybody else, hey


You made me insecure,

Told me I wasn't good enough.

But who are you to judge

When you're a diamond in the rough?

I'm sure you got some things

You'd like to change about yourself.

But when it comes to me

I wouldn't want to be anybody else.


Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na


I'm no beauty queen

I'm just beautiful me


Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na


You've got every right

To a beautiful life

C'mon


Who says, who says you're not perfect?

Who says you're not worth it?

Who says you're the only one that's hurtin'?

Trust me, that's the price of beauty

Who says you're not pretty?

Who says you're not beautiful?

Who says?


It's such a funny thing

How nothing's funny when it's you

You tell 'em what you mean

But they keep whiting out the truth

It's like a work of art

That never gets to see the light

Keep you beneath the stars

Won't let you touch the sky


Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na


I'm no beauty queen

I'm just beautiful me


Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na


You've got every right

To a beautiful life

C'mon


Who says, who says you're not perfect?

Who says you're not worth it?

Who says you're the only one that's hurtin'?

Trust me, that's the price of beauty

Who says you're not pretty?

Who says you're not beautiful?

Who says?


Who says you're not star potential?

Who says you're not presidential?

Who says you can't be in movies?

Listen to me, listen to me

Who says you don't pass the test?

Who says you can't be the best?

Who said, who said?

Would you tell me who said that?

Yeah, who said?


Who says, who says you're not perfect? (yeah)

Who says you're not worth it? (yeah yeah)

Who says you're the only one that's hurtin'? (oh)

Trust me, that's the price of beauty (hey yeah, beauty)

Who says you're not pretty? (who said?)

Who says you're not beautiful? (I'm just beautiful me)

Who says?


Who says you're not perfect?

Who says you're not worth it?

Who says you're the only one that's hurtin'?


Trust me (yeah), that's the price of beauty

Who says you're not pretty?

Who says you're not beautiful? (who says you're not beautiful?)

Who says?


-Who Says, Selena Gomez


Sabtu, 18 Juni 2016

Beauty and the Beast


One of my favorite princess is Belle. Many people thinks she was having a stockholm syndrome (Stock·holm syn·drome: feelings of trust or affection felt in certain cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim toward a captor).
But no, they only see the whole story without understanding the plot in detail. What I see is:

Belle is a beauty and smart girl who love her father so much because he was the only parent she had. In her village, she was wanted to marry by Gaston the most powerful assh*le in town, but she ignored him because he was just a man with muscle but no brain, he also very narcisstic and thought he could get everything he want.
One day, Belle's father was lost in somewhere out of their village and accidentally arrived at beast's castle. He entered there, seeking for a help and a little courious about that mysterious castle in the middle of the forest. But Beast was so very insecure that he thought Belle's father was an intruder so he prisoned him.
Belle worried about his father because their horse was came home alone without him. She started seeking his father with the horse and arrived at Beast castle. Belle then sacrifice herself to became Beast's hostage to discharge her beloved father. Beast was dazzled with Belle's beauty and also thought she might could save him from the curse that made him into a beast, so he accepted that concurrence.
After released Belle's father, Beast gave Belle a proper grand bedroom for her to be comfort at his castle. At first, Belle didn't like and reject Beast because of his temper and rude act. She felt upset every night in her bedroom, but the servants who cursed into housware like Lumière, Cogsworth, mrs. Potts, and her son Chip, calming Belle and assured that the Beast is not a bad person, he was only lonely. Belle started to try understand Beast more. But one day Belle went to the west wing of the castle and get into the room which is forbidden for her to step in, there she found the rose that used to count down Beast cursed. Beast found her and get mad, showing his temper and animals side. Then she ran away from the castle. 
In the forest, she was intercepted by wolves, but before she was torn into pieces, Beast came and save her. At the castle, they talked about what was happened, Belle admonished about his bad temper, Beast was realized that it was his fault, but after that Belle thanked him for saved her life. After opened her heart and saved by him, she could feel goodness and sincere in Beast. Then day by day she can found common in them and sharing a good things. Belle started to feel comfort and unconsciously falling in love with him.
One day, Belle missed her father. Beast offered her a magic mirror that can see through what ever she wanted to see. She was shocked to see her father was laying on the bed and looks sick. Then she asked Beast to let her visit her father for a while. Beast pity her, let her go home and give her the mirror in case she want to see the castle.
When she back home, Gaston know and also found out that there's a Beast at the castle in the middle of the forest, he also can feel that Belle was fall in love with the Beast so he planed to attack Beast at his castle. Then Gaston locked up Belle and her father in their house and went to Beast castle with the villagers.
Chip (the cursed cup), that sneaked into Belle's bag, help Belle and her father to go out. Then they ran into the castle with their horse. When Belle get there, Beast saw her and got more strenght to defend himself from the villager. At one time Belle gets to Beast at the upper castle, Gaston stab him and he was hurted, but before totally sprawl, Beast could beat Gaston and make him fall from the high. Then Belle ran into Beast who was lied down unconsciously. She shed a tear while hugging Beast and admit that she love him right before the last rose petals falling down. And then the magic happened, Beast turned into a human shaped prince in front of Belle, so did the cursed castle's servants all turned back into human. And the gloomy castle turned into pretentious kingdom as the spell exuviated.

Well that was a very classic fairy-taled happy ending, which I like..

I wanna tell that I love Belle's character because she's so smart, she's pretty but doesn't show that off like most girls at the village, she doesn't really care about her appearance. She prefer to go to bookstore and being herself even when people say she was "odd" and "peculiar". And she could explicitely reject Gaston because they have different purpose in life.
She dare to dream, even that she lived in the common village with commonly idea of life, she had a dream to have an adventurous live and so courious about what outside her world.
She was also very brave, when she found out her beloved father was missing, she immediately went to find him into the dark forest. 
And she's so selfless that she sacrifice herself to save her father because she love him very much. She is type of girl whom will do anything for everyone she love.
She show her selflessness again and her warm-hearted too when she started to open her heart to understand Beast more, by not seeing his physical appearance and understand his bad attitude. 
She can understand him, that makes him melted and try to change his attitude because of her, not 'for' her. Maksudnya si Beast ini merubah sikapnya karena dia merasa dimengerti sama Belle, bukan berubah karena disuruh sama Belle nya. Jadi alasan untuk berubahnya lebih internal sehingga lebih tulus dan lebih last forever.
So it is proved that Belle loves Beast not only because he captive her at his castle. But because they learn to understand each other and be the reason for each other to be better. Isn't it so cuteeeeee?

Eyakkkk jadi baper gaes. Ya memang cerita ini so so fairy tale dan terasa tidak mungkin terjadi di dunia nyata karena terlalu naif (?) 
But I really believe and love this kind of story. I just a fairy tale lover forever and ever. Maybe it's because I can't feel that myself in this real life. YA SIAPA JUGA SIH YANG MAU NGERASAIN MASUK KE DALAM BANGUNAN ASING YANG ADA MAKHLUK BUAS DIDALEMNYA, GUE MAH KABUR GAES.

Moreover, even fairy tale has it's ups and downs. Like Belle, she had to sacrifice herself to save her father, not knowing what will happen to her in that gloomy castle with the Beast inside. She never had a will before to fall in love with the Beast, but it happened just like that without planed first.
So do in real life, there's so many things happened that we don't like and hard to accept but actually later we'll find out there is a deep meaning of what happened that can change our boring casual life forever.

--the end--

Jumat, 10 Juni 2016

Judges




Judges biasanya diminta dan dibayar untuk menilai atau mengomentari peserta. Terus ngapain repot-repot judging kalo ga di minta. 

Okay jadi gini, jaman sekarang (dari dulu sih sebenernya) banyak bgt yg suka ngomentarin orang lain (mungkin gue juga). Tapi postingan ini buat self-reminder aja. 

Ngomentarin ada tingkatannya, ada yg cuma iseng, karena emang dia pantes dikomentarin, sampe ada yg komentar karena sirik tanda tak mampu. Yang mau di ingetin disini yg terakhir sih. Please sebelum komentar yg keterlaluan, make sure dulu kita kenal sama org itu dan kita tau bener dia kayak gimana. Sebenernya kalo kita kenal sama org itu ya tegor aja langsung sih saat ada yg ga beres, bukan ngomentarin dia di belakang.
And I'm pretty sure, yang suka komentar dibelakang pasti ga kenal sama orang itu makanya bisa tega dan sampe ati ngomongin yang enggak-enggak, padahal itu sebatas kemampuan berpikir kita doang tanpa tau yang sebenarnya.

Coba sekarang bayangin kalau kita yang ada di posisi itu, seandainya kita merasa ga melakukan suatu hal tapi tiba-tiba denger desas desus yang ga bener tentang diri kita. Have you ever imagine that? Kalo ga bisa memposisikan diri kayak gitu berarti terbukti kemampuan mentalnya emang kurang heeeeee 😁😁😁

Kalau bisa ngebayangin, seharusnya para judges-judges ini berpikir dan mencari tahu dulu sebelum menebarkan komentarnya. Tapi mencari tahunya jangan dengan cara nanya ke orang lain dengan ekspresi muka-muka saytonirojim ngajak gosip hehehe. Kalo bisa mencari tahunya dengan langsung kenali orang yang bersangkutan, deketin, dan cari tahu dia orang yang seperti apa. Kalau ternyata yang kita pikir sebelumnya itu salah, we really should throw all our dirty mind.

It's like words "know your enemy", "make your enemy as your best friend", menurut gue sih makna dari kata-kata itu bukan mendekati musuh buat nusuk dari belakang. Bukan. Tapi dengan kita ngedeketin dia, kita lebih paham bagaimana dia, dan kita bisa mengerti sebab dari perilakunya yang kita pikir aneh sebelumnya. Hmmmm dengan kata lain bisa dibilang empati sih. Tapi bukan empati banget, duh apa ya istilahnya yang tepat haha.. Pokoknya gitu, kalau kita bisa paham sama dia, rasa-rasa curiga pun hilang dan kita malah membantu dan membela dia.

Itu diatas kalo kasusnya orang yang kita omongin ternyata ga bersalah ya. Lain lagi kalo ternyata yang kita pikirkan itu memang benar adanya, kita udah deketin, dan ternyata kita tau dia memang seperti itu dan ga ada yang bisa dipahami dari dia. So leave them then.... You don't have to make your self in complicated place with complicated person. Sepertinya ga susah meninggalkan orang yang memang pantas ditinggalkan, so yeah my only advice is to leave them. Ga usah ikut campur urusan orang kalau memang dia ga minta untuk dicampuri urusannya. 
Setelah itu hidup seperti biasa aja ga usah mikirin apalagi nyebarin rumor-rumor meskipun memang bukan kebohongan, tapi tetap aja ghibah dosa. Dan ga bermanfaat juga sih nyebarin aib orang, emang kita mau aibnya disebar?

Balik lagi ke sirik tanda tak mampu. Apa kita rela buang-buang waktu buat mengamati seseorang, buat nyari-nyari kesalahan dia. Apa itu bisa bikin diri kita lebih baik? NO. 'Terlihat' lebih baik pun tidak. Yang ada kita terlihat pathetic dan sirik abis. Malu dong gaessss
Udah komentarin dia, tapi masi aja stalking sosmednya. Tujuannya buat nyari kesalahannya lagi. Guilty pleasure? Maybe. Buang2 waktu? Banget. Bermanfaat buat kehidupan kita kedepan? Sangat enggak.
Setelah nyari kesalahan dia, kita berusaha meyakinkan diri sendiri dan orang lain bahwa kita lebih baik dari dia. Sampe sini, oke kalo mau lebih baik. Tapi....... Patokan kita untuk jadi lebih baik adalah orang yang kita jatuhkan? Helloooo you just make your standard low. Mau diketawain orang? Masa membandingkan diri sendiri sama orang yang kita jelek-jelekin. Itu yang namanya sirik tanda tak mampu. Kasian kalo hidup kita dipake cuma buat mikirin orang lain yang bahkan ga mikirin kita :(

Live your live to the fullest, make you standard high, avoid other people's problem

Oke sekian terima kasih. Thank you for wasting your time to read this post 😁🙏🏻


Kamis, 25 Februari 2016

Unconditional Love

Can you call it love when there's term and condition?
You said "I could just love you if......" 
IF.......(?) 
seriously? Do you realize what did you just say?
Lo mending ke laut pacaran sama ikan kalo 'sayang' nya pake 'kalo'.

Well, we're all grown ups and we do 'love' with logic now. So I can't blame you if you made some 'if' word to your partner.
And that's why I don't like being adult. There's so much logic, reason, consideration, demand needed. I'm myself, forget how to think like I used to, but I remember life was so much simpler one-time ago, when I was younger.

Padahal, kita bisa aja biarin semuanya mengalir, apa yang terjadi, ya terjadilah, tanpa ada banyak tuntutan semua harus sesuai logika kita yang terbatas. 
Maksudnya bukan berarti pasrah juga dari awal ya, tapi kalau udah dikasi, ya terima aja, gausah banyak protes dan koreksi. Meskipun kamu bilang kamu 'mengkritik' dengan alasan biar lebih baik, tapi kalau menurutku sih kamu gaakan bisa ngerubah orang dengan kritikan-kritikan kasarmu itu. Tetap aja, namanya kritik pasti bikin sakit hati you know? FYI, it change nothing. Dan itu berlaku juga buat perilaku kamu yang nunjukkin ga suka sama sifat pasanganmu. It breaking their heart, you don't know how much effort they did to make you happy. But you break their heart that easily.
Mungkin kata-kata bisa merubah orang untuk sementara, tapi perbuatan bisa merubah orang untuk selamanya. 

Daripada kamu bilang "coba kamu lebih hati-hati/teliti/cerdas/mikir/*dan tuntutan-tuntutan lainnya*". 
Tunjukin aja kalau kamu ikhlas, kamu suka, kamu senang, tanpa ada SYARAT (<- ugh I hateeeee that word and its meaning).
Dumb? You think its dumb, and stupid? So we have different perspective, because I called its Love.
If you think that kind of love is stupid and make no sense, it means you're selfish af *as fuck* egois banget.
Why are you so selfish? You blame other people because they can't treat you well. If you love them you won't yelling at them, telling that they're wrong. NO. you won't tell them wrong. You can't change them, change yourself to be more respect to other people!

Kalo emang ga suka sama sifatnya, dari awal ga usah sok manis. You stupid pemberi harapan palsu. You should love person with all their curves and all their edges, all their perfect imperfections (well said Mr. John Legend!) and if you don't love them like that, you really should go from their life and love(fck) yourself. (well said Justin, you refine word fuck to love, great)

Where can I found unconditional love apart from Allah the Most Gracious, Most Merciful...?

Jumat, 20 September 2013

Introduction

Assalamualaikum.... hai readers all around the world!
my name is Shirley Auliza Nazli you can call me Shelly or Seli. I was born on March 28, 1995
I have two younger sisters and they are twin.
I was born on Medan but i lived in Balikpapan, East Borneo, until i'm 16 years old. On the second grade in high school, i moved to Depok until now.
Now i'm studying Psychology at Gunadarma University, and also a member of Swara Darmagita Choir as a mezzo-sopran.

My hobby is reading (novel,comic,magazine, not a study books), watching movies, swimming, playing games or social media on the phone... (ya i'm just a common nowadays teenager). But now i don't have much time to do my hobbies. except one, playing the phone, because i can do that wherever and whenever. I would love to if i have partner to do my hobbies by asking me to swim or watching maybe? Ha
My genre of book & movie is romance, comedy, drama, fantasy, action, detective or spy thing, musical, something makes me shed my tears, something mind twisting and mind blowing.
My favorite books i ever read are twilight saga, lupus, miiko(comic), mawar merah&its series, ingo&its series.
My favorite movies are twilight saga, hunger games, the lord of the rings, the amazing spiderman, iron man, barbie the princess and the pauper, real steel, tarzan, frozen, all disney's movie lah pokoknya and many many manyyyy more! I love to watch and i wish someone can be my partner to do it! (Ps: i always do comment when watching a movie, it doesn't mean i don't enjoy it. My mouth just can't stand if i see something atracted me. So if you feel disturbed when i'm talking while watching, we're not a good partner)

Other things about me:
-I'm not really a religious person. But I do believe in Allah and the destiny He gave to us.
-I'm a moody person. I can be really nice but when in the bad mood I can't even smile to anyone. I know its a bad habbit, i am myself want to change that but you know its not as easy as that. But i've seen many people with 'moody-habbit' and it's really really annoying. like they can't be there for you when you need them because they're depending on their mood. I don't want to be one of that person.
-I used to keep silent and not really get into people's problem. Just open my ears wider, keep listening and watching the environment. learn from it so I can be a better person.
But now, If something is wrong and nobody fix it, I'll try to get into it and say my opinion so that things can be fixed up.
-When I don't like thing, I'll spoke rough words. But I'm not hating something for too long, so I can enjoy whatever is that thing after a moment.
-I don't like hearing people complaining. "Ouch this, ouch that, my head dizzy, my stomach hurt, blablabla" so I do less complaining (but I still do it sometimes teehee)
-When alone, I often do self talking.
-Sometimes I talked to things too, I pretend they have feeling and understand what I say (that's why I study Psychology ._.)
-I love fairytale. Some magical stuff like movies, music, character, can bring me to different world.
-My college life really changed me. Plenty of things I used to hate and I didn't wanna do, I do it now. So I just realize that is life. So many things change, just get used to the change it self. But change to a good way not to a bad way.
-One more: I got my first love in college. Why I can say first love? Because I know what is love, what is sacrifice, what is jealous, what is desire..... I don't know, everything about him just seems perfect for me. But I don't think he feel the same way. So... Yeah

In case in case in case.........................:
My shoe size is 41 (europe) or 9 (USA)
My shirt size is usually L
And my pant/trouser size is 31
^^^in case you wanna gimme some for my birthday gift? Haha just in case :p

Thats all I can tell right now,

want to know more? follow or add my:

  • twitter: @sheliz
  • Ask.fm: @shelliz 
  • facebook: facebook.com/shellyauliza
  • instagram: shellyauliza
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  • line: shellyauliza
  • skype: shellyauliza
  • snapchat: shellyauliza
  • tumblr: shelliz.tumblr.com


pretty much, huh? yes like i said i'm just common nowadays teenager :)
enjoy my blog and keep visiting!