A Letter for Myself

It's easier to make a new one than fixing the old one, they said. 

Because the old one already have a pattern that another people has made before, and it's a little bit complicate to follow the pattern to finish it.

Yes, it is really easier to make a new one, because you really create it from the beginning, that you know every single part of it, untill you finish it with your own way.

But.... they didn't say it's impossible to continue the old one. 

It's not easy, but there's always possibility.

I proved that twice, in fact, it really is, not easy. 

I made much mistake in doing that. 

Even when I finish, the result is not as perfect as I and everyone expected.

But I finished it, until it really finish.

I finished it with my own way. 

I never ask to fix it at the first time, the responsibilities was just given to me in the middle of the pattern.

Then I took my courage to bear that responsibilities. To finish what I didn't start.

Honestly I'm not satisfied with the result. I admit that, I didn't deserve an appreciation from other people.

But I respect myself, I regard my self, I care to myself, and I convinced my self to receive a little thank you from myself, to myself, for having that courage at the first place, and still stand for it until it finish. 

So, thank you, Shelly, for did the best you can. Make this as the lesson for your future. Keep that braveness, always remember, have courage and be kind :)

(Note: 

• The first occasion is when I become the first treasurer, from the second treasurer. Because the 'old' first treasurer was signed out from the organization
• And the second occasion is when I, from the regular member, was asked to be the coordinator of artistic team that already created and already planned by other person. But because there's a thing, make that person became a chairman of the committee. So she asked me to replace her position.
• I finished those jobs, with a little bit messy result. It was really far from perfect.
• But like i said, I have to appreciate myself, so I write this letter for myself
• And I just want to remind all of you, you need an appreciation of everything you did. At least you have a pure will to do it right, even if the result is far from your expectation)

And last but not least, I have a song for all of us:

I wouldn't wanna be anybody else, hey

You made me insecure,

Told me I wasn't good enough.

But who are you to judge

When you're a diamond in the rough?

I'm sure you got some things

You'd like to change about yourself.

But when it comes to me

I wouldn't want to be anybody else.

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

I'm no beauty queen

I'm just beautiful me

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

You've got every right

To a beautiful life

C'mon

Who says, who says you're not perfect?

Who says you're not worth it?

Who says you're the only one that's hurtin'?

Trust me, that's the price of beauty

Who says you're not pretty?

Who says you're not beautiful?

Who says?

It's such a funny thing

How nothing's funny when it's you

You tell 'em what you mean

But they keep whiting out the truth

It's like a work of art

That never gets to see the light

Keep you beneath the stars

Won't let you touch the sky

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

I'm no beauty queen

I'm just beautiful me

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

You've got every right

To a beautiful life

C'mon

Who says, who says you're not perfect?

Who says you're not worth it?

Who says you're the only one that's hurtin'?

Trust me, that's the price of beauty

Who says you're not pretty?

Who says you're not beautiful?

Who says?

Who says you're not star potential?

Who says you're not presidential?

Who says you can't be in movies?

Listen to me, listen to me

Who says you don't pass the test?

Who says you can't be the best?

Who said, who said?

Would you tell me who said that?

Yeah, who said?

Who says, who says you're not perfect? (yeah)

Who says you're not worth it? (yeah yeah)

Who says you're the only one that's hurtin'? (oh)

Trust me, that's the price of beauty (hey yeah, beauty)

Who says you're not pretty? (who said?)

Who says you're not beautiful? (I'm just beautiful me)

Who says?

Who says you're not perfect?

Who says you're not worth it?

Who says you're the only one that's hurtin'?

Trust me (yeah), that's the price of beauty

Who says you're not pretty?

Who says you're not beautiful? (who says you're not beautiful?)

Who says?

-Who Says, Selena Gomez

Beauty and the Beast

One of my favorite princess is Belle. Many people thinks she was having a stockholm syndrome (Stock·holm syn·drome: feelings of trust or affection felt in certain cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim toward a captor).

But no, they only see the whole story without understanding the plot in detail. What I see is:

Belle is a beauty and smart girl who love her father so much because he was the only parent she had. In her village, she was wanted to marry by Gaston the most powerful assh*le in town, but she ignored him because he was just a man with muscle but no brain, he also very narcisstic and thought he could get everything he want.

One day, Belle's father was lost in somewhere out of their village and accidentally arrived at beast's castle. He entered there, seeking for a help and a little courious about that mysterious castle in the middle of the forest. But Beast was so very insecure that he thought Belle's father was an intruder so he prisoned him.

Belle worried about his father because their horse was came home alone without him. She started seeking his father with the horse and arrived at Beast castle. Belle then sacrifice herself to became Beast's hostage to discharge her beloved father. Beast was dazzled with Belle's beauty and also thought she might could save him from the curse that made him into a beast, so he accepted that concurrence.

After released Belle's father, Beast gave Belle a proper grand bedroom for her to be comfort at his castle. At first, Belle didn't like and reject Beast because of his temper and rude act. She felt upset every night in her bedroom, but the servants who cursed into housware like Lumière, Cogsworth, mrs. Potts, and her son Chip, calming Belle and assured that the Beast is not a bad person, he was only lonely. Belle started to try understand Beast more. But one day Belle went to the west wing of the castle and get into the room which is forbidden for her to step in, there she found the rose that used to count down Beast cursed. Beast found her and get mad, showing his temper and animals side. Then she ran away from the castle. 

In the forest, she was intercepted by wolves, but before she was torn into pieces, Beast came and save her. At the castle, they talked about what was happened, Belle admonished about his bad temper, Beast was realized that it was his fault, but after that Belle thanked him for saved her life. After opened her heart and saved by him, she could feel goodness and sincere in Beast. Then day by day she can found common in them and sharing a good things. Belle started to feel comfort and unconsciously falling in love with him.

One day, Belle missed her father. Beast offered her a magic mirror that can see through what ever she wanted to see. She was shocked to see her father was laying on the bed and looks sick. Then she asked Beast to let her visit her father for a while. Beast pity her, let her go home and give her the mirror in case she want to see the castle.

When she back home, Gaston know and also found out that there's a Beast at the castle in the middle of the forest, he also can feel that Belle was fall in love with the Beast so he planed to attack Beast at his castle. Then Gaston locked up Belle and her father in their house and went to Beast castle with the villagers.

Chip (the cursed cup), that sneaked into Belle's bag, help Belle and her father to go out. Then they ran into the castle with their horse. When Belle get there, Beast saw her and got more strenght to defend himself from the villager. At one time Belle gets to Beast at the upper castle, Gaston stab him and he was hurted, but before totally sprawl, Beast could beat Gaston and make him fall from the high. Then Belle ran into Beast who was lied down unconsciously. She shed a tear while hugging Beast and admit that she love him right before the last rose petals falling down. And then the magic happened, Beast turned into a human shaped prince in front of Belle, so did the cursed castle's servants all turned back into human. And the gloomy castle turned into pretentious kingdom as the spell exuviated.

Well that was a very classic fairy-taled happy ending, which I like..

I wanna tell that I love Belle's character because she's so smart, she's pretty but doesn't show that off like most girls at the village, she doesn't really care about her appearance. She prefer to go to bookstore and being herself even when people say she was "odd" and "peculiar". And she could explicitely reject Gaston because they have different purpose in life.

She dare to dream, even that she lived in the common village with commonly idea of life, she had a dream to have an adventurous live and so courious about what outside her world.

She was also very brave, when she found out her beloved father was missing, she immediately went to find him into the dark forest. 

And she's so selfless that she sacrifice herself to save her father because she love him very much. She is type of girl whom will do anything for everyone she love.

She show her selflessness again and her warm-hearted too when she started to open her heart to understand Beast more, by not seeing his physical appearance and understand his bad attitude. 

She can understand him, that makes him melted and try to change his attitude because of her, not 'for' her. Maksudnya si Beast ini merubah sikapnya karena dia merasa dimengerti sama Belle, bukan berubah karena disuruh sama Belle nya. Jadi alasan untuk berubahnya lebih internal sehingga lebih tulus dan lebih last forever.

So it is proved that Belle loves Beast not only because he captive her at his castle. But because they learn to understand each other and be the reason for each other to be better. Isn't it so cuteeeeee?

Eyakkkk jadi baper gaes. Ya memang cerita ini so so fairy tale dan terasa tidak mungkin terjadi di dunia nyata karena terlalu naif (?) 

But I really believe and love this kind of story. I just a fairy tale lover forever and ever. Maybe it's because I can't feel that myself in this real life. YA SIAPA JUGA SIH YANG MAU NGERASAIN MASUK KE DALAM BANGUNAN ASING YANG ADA MAKHLUK BUAS DIDALEMNYA, GUE MAH KABUR GAES.

Moreover, even fairy tale has it's ups and downs. Like Belle, she had to sacrifice herself to save her father, not knowing what will happen to her in that gloomy castle with the Beast inside. She never had a will before to fall in love with the Beast, but it happened just like that without planed first.

So do in real life, there's so many things happened that we don't like and hard to accept but actually later we'll find out there is a deep meaning of what happened that can change our boring casual life forever.

--the end--

Teenager probs

Oke this is my problem, i don't know if any of you have the same problem or not. But i think you are, we do have this problem. Jadi, kenapa setiap ada suatu event dan kebetulan ada seorang lawan jenis yang belum kita kenal di event tersebut, kita akan tertarik sama lawan jenis itu. Is it just me or you feel the same?

Too easy for me to admiring someone i just met in some event, but at the same time it's too easy to get 'ilfeel' when i find out something that bother me about this guy.

I have read something that tell about 'wanita cenderung akan tertarik pada pria yang kelihatannya tidak tertarik padanya'. I admit i'm one of that girl. And if i know that guy likes me back, my feeling will automatically 'unlike' him. I just can't controlled that, it happens a lot.

Thats a problem, right? But the good thing is, with that habbit i do not have a relationship. because i feel so easy and so fast to get bored with a guy. Horrible but also benefit. Actually, I don't really like a concept of 'pacaran', although *ehem* sometime i want to have one too.

So, i just want to share that i feel the 'teenager probs' just now.

The event (that made us meet) is just ended today.

Maybe tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and next week, apalagi next month, i will totally forget that he is even exist in this world.

But just for this time, this time i still feel this feeling. ugh it's annoy me. much.

I ignore that feel, but my feeling don't want to ignore that i liking someone right now.

it's just like 'summer crush' you know, a feeling for a guy that just happen in summer time when you and he meet in a vacation. But after back to school, your life will be back to normal routine and you will totally forget about him.

I always feel like that.

Whereas I did't even talk to him a word, because i never have a courage to start a conversation with a guy.

But i like the way he look at me. i don't know, maybe i'm just over confident, maybe he actually looking at the scenery or something behind me, i'm not sure.

Whatever, tomorrow i will forget him though. He's just another summer crush, another story of my probs.

Okay the end of the story.